The Feedback That Shapes You—Even When You Don’t Notice
We don’t make choices as freely as we think we do.
We like to believe we act based on logic, preferences, or personal agency. But in reality, much of what we do—or don’t do—is dictated by past feedback we’ve absorbed, whether we realize it or not.
It follows a pattern:
At first, it's clear.
You raise your hand in class, and someone laughs.
You share an idea in a meeting, and your manager brushes it off.
You ask for something, but you don’t even get acknowledged.
That’s real feedback.
Next time, you do the same thing but brace yourself for the reaction. You’re already expecting what will happen before it does.
That’s subconscious feedback.
And then, one day, you don’t even try.
You don’t raise your hand.
You don’t share the idea.
You don’t ask.
Not because of what’s happening now, but because of something that happened long ago.
That’s conditioning.
At this point, no one needs to give you feedback anymore.
You probably don’t even remember why you feel this way.
And here’s the problem:
What shaped you then possibly isn’t even real anymore. It’s just what you’ve come to believe.
And what you believe leads to your action—or inaction.
But the thing is, you may be a different person now. The situation may be different. The people may be different.
But unless you test it, you’ll never know.
So here’s the question:
How much of what you do—or don’t do—today is because of feedback that isn’t even happening anymore?
Read how this applies to the workplace in this next post